Who's to Blame?

O Lord, the deep, deep pain … I grieve

the loss of hope ... he chose to leave.

Could I have loved him more, not less?

Could I have saved him from distress?

Was there nothing I could do

to stop him.. nor would you?

Then remembering a disciple once the same

from grief of knowing he was to blame

Took upon himself the right to die

And not trust in Him who would be crucified.

Jesus knew and loved him still

Yet did not stop him, that would kill.

His Master was holy in every way,

the disciple could find no blame

Jesus loved him perfectly, not like me

He taught him everything he would need

Yet his soul still overcome with pain

chose to leave.. was Jesus to blame?

So why do I in sadness still

Believe the fault, to take at will

For choices I did not alone make

For a life I alone did not choose to take

Oh God help me.. these thoughts to cease

In acceptance lieth peace.

Here I must commit my thoughts

and not focus daily on my loss.

But turn now to those who are left

and support and love them with Your best.

Let those of us who are left behind

Not let the torment in our mind

Steal from us the days left

Instead to hide within the cleft

of your love and grace remain

knowing it will heal our pain.

Georgene  

2012